The plague of religion

"Every day the voice of atheism grows louder, more confident, backed by ever increasing evidence, reason and logic. Every day the religious respond by sticking their fingers in their ears and shouting “La! La! La! La! La!"

~ Alan Harvey

You have to admire them. Nobody, but nobody can insult you in such a sanctimonious, bitter way as catholics. Unhindered by knowledge or manners they heap one crude affront after another rude slight upon you, if you don't happen to belong to their rapist-condoning club.

In The Catholic Herald, one Francis Phillips writes her little pious butt off to demonstrate that Atheists can't be joyous.

Well, I knew we were all vicious, amoral murderers but now it appears it is impossible for us to experience joy. We're just not equipped for it. Only, I repeat only, catholics (well, maybe other christians as well) can experience true joy. Mind you, I grant we sorely lack how a catholic priest can be joyous at times.

A joyous Atheist is no less than The Ultimate Oxymoron according to Francis. Not your garden variety oxymoron. No, no. The Ultimate Oxymoron. It doesn't get more oxy, according to what must be the ultimate catholic moron.

It is probably something like The Ultimate Pleonasm: a bigoted catholic.

"You can be either ‘joyous’ or an ‘atheist’; you cannot be both. Discuss."

Discuss? Gladly, dear Madam.

So, I tried my hand at some sanctimoniousness of my own. It was hard work, but I tried to be as salving, yet denigrating, as understanding, yet condescending as a catholic.

This is what I came up with.


Dear Madam,

Why is it that so many Christians, and especially so many Catholics, are so harsh, judgmental and, well, frankly, unhappy?

Haven't you read this piece over before submitting it? Haven't you noticed its acerbic, condescending tone? Haven't you noticed the callous way in which you insult a very, very large group of people?

I wonder what your definition of the word joyful is. Is this piece joyful? Joyful hate? Joyful condescension? Are you joyfully feeling superior?

Don't you think that if your religion were really joyful, people would flock to you? Wouldn't they come running towards you, asking, nay, begging "Please, tell me, what is the source of your joyfulness? Please, tell me your secret. Instruct me how I can become as joyful as you are."

Do they, dear Madam? Do they really?

Over the last years, more than 34 million people have turned their backs to organized religion in the US alone. How can they give up that ethereal joy of which you non-atheists are the sole possessors?

By their fruits you shall know them. Or, more prosaically and less religiously put, the proof of the pudding is in the eating. You only have to look at your emptying churches. You only have to listen to the howls of derision and ridicule reverberating throughout the world when the pope has issued yet another statement that defies, literally, belief in all the meanings of the word. You only have to feel the almost palpable distastefulness that surrounds your priesthood.

Your lack of love, Madam, is only surpassed by your arrogant hatefulness.

I understand, Madam, that you were preaching to the choir. Like any group of enablers they will undoubtedly applaud you. Cherish them, because their numbers are dwindling by the day. Alas for you, the Dark Ages are over and when you insult people, even when it is in the name of your god, even when you are a Catholic, you are going to get some answers. Not all of which might please you.

You have been sowing bitter seeds.

What kind of harvest do you think you will reap?


PS: You also fail at linguistics. Look it up in the Oxford English Dictionary. At least since the early seventeenth century the word has been used with a secular meaning.

Why am I not surprised a Catholic is lagging a few centuries behind?


A lot of other atheists have reacted as well. So now you have a web page that makes for partly infuriating, partly highly amusing reading: enjoy it here

Thanks to The Spiritual Atheist who drew my attention to this site.

All is well with the world.

Yep, everything is just going fine.

On Twitter some hysterical person was exhorting the devout masses to help the christian victims of rape by muslims in Iran, while the only thing those poor, innocent christians had been doing was trying to convert people to their own brand of barbarity, and away from that other skid mark upon humanity. A bit like selling Richard Dawkins' books in Saint Peter's basilica in Rome. Which would be totally OK by christians. They are known for their tolerance.

As if Iran wasn't in trouble enough with one retarded religion. As if christians hadn't anything better to do, like cleaning their own filthy house of rapists. To mention only the bleeding obvious.

Meanwhile the catholics in Boston are putting much effort in their marketing campaign called "Catholics Come Home". Yes, come home you lost sheep. We're beginning to feel the absence of your money.

One Joseph Kurtz, Great Padishah-Mogul of the Sacred Beehive of Poughkeepsie (that could also be Archbishop of the Holy Roman Catholic Church — I always confuse those two) insists on letting us know what his feeble mind thinks about marriage.

“Marriage exists prior to the state and is not open to redefinition by the state. The role of the state, instead, is to respect and reinforce marriage.”

Yeah. Kurtz obviously operates under the somewhat false impression he has any authority left. How dare that nincompoop even try to tell other people what to do and not. And, by the way, the State is not your business, Kurtz, you cheeky monkey. You have nothing to do with it. You have nothing relevant to say about it. You're just an insignificant old man who wears funny dresses and silly hats. None of those enhance your credibility. And, please, take your penis out of the anus of my underage son while you're talking gibberish to me.

Get it trough your calcified skull that chess rules only apply to the game of chess. Your ramblings only apply to people who want to belong to your club. Us sane people don't want to be bothered by your blabberings based on a collection of Bronze Age horror stories.

In Rome priests now pay adult call boys to have hot man-sex or go to gay clubs to have consensual intercourse. This is progress in comparison to raping altar boys.

Joseph "The Pitbull" Ratzinger, however, doesn't seem to think so. Still reeling from the howls of hysterical laughter and the outcries of indignation his latests inanity (declaring the mere attempt to ordain women into the priesthood equal to raping children) has provoked, he ordered gay priests to leave the priesthood. Not a wise move, a gay activist mused. The church stands to lose 98 % of its ground personnel.

It's things like these that make Ratzinger the best pope ever. He's destroying an almost two thousand year old institution singlehandedly. He is to be applauded and encouraged. Like Napoleon said "Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." And another one. And another one.

You would think Ratzinger would do something for all those victims his vile, criminal organization has made. No, there are more important things to tend to than caring for some whining rape victims. What is the church? A compassionate institute preaching love? Perish the thought. Latest we heard he is writing the final part of a fiction work, "The life of Jesus, part III", based on an ancient fairy tale. (spoiler: the main character dies)

Unless he makes Jesus sparkle like the vampires of "Twilight" he could have saved himself the trouble.

All is well with the world.

Creationists,

My theory is that unlimited premarital sex with as many partners as you can possibly get, of all genders, is the best thing you can experience and completely harmless and healthy fun.

Let's teach both my theory and your theory of total abstinence in schools and then let the kids decide for themselves.