The plague of religion

"It is often argued that religion is valuable because it makes men good, but even if this were true it would not be a proof that religion is true. That would be an extension of pragmatism beyond endurance. Santa Claus makes children good in precisely the same way, and yet no one would argue seriously that the fact proves his existence. The defense of religion is full of such logical imbecilities."

~ H. L. Mencken

God is the immemorial refuge of the incompetent, the helpless, the miserable. They find not only sanctuary in his arms, but also a kind of superiority, soothing to their macerated egos. He will set them above their betters.

~ H. L. Mencken

The power of prayer: a practical exercise for religious people.

Warning: this exercise is only for non-atheists. Atheists should abstain as this won't work for them because of lack of faith.

This exercise is meant for religious people, to demonstrate the power of prayer.

If you're a religious person and you are an adult, you surely have children. Because you are heterosexual. You have more than one. Because you only have sex to further god's purpose, which is to populate the earth with more religious people.

For this exercise we'll need two children.

Take two (2) of your children (their age doesn't matter) and break an arm (1) of each. Use a hammer.

Take child A to an hospital and let it be treated by doctors. Whatever you do: don't pray for it. If you can't help yourself, pray something like: "Oh lord, don't heal this child."

Take child B and lay it on a couch or a bed. Gather your spouse and any other children you might have and start praying for it. Pray that its arm may be healed in the name of Jesus. Make it count. Don't hesitate to wail a bit.

It says in the bible that whatever you ask for you shall be given. And the bible tells the truth. Always. Literally.

Jesus himself confirmed this. You can command mountains. Healing a broken arm is peanuts in comparison. And Jesus wouldn't lie, now would he? Of course not.

Have faith. Pray. Pray. Pray.

Notice how those stupid doctors have put a plaster cast around child A's broken arm. Notice how uncomfortable that is. Notice how they make it take all kinds of pills. Notice how they give it injections with antibiotics. Notice how that hurts.

Notice how child B's wound begins to smell a bit putrefied. Notice how gangrene sets in. Don't worry. Don't panic. This is just god testing your faith. Rejoice. Your faith is strong. Invite your neighbors to come and pray with you. Have faith. Pray.

Try not to look too triumphant when you see child A struggling, while it tries to operate a computer and surf the net, with that awful cast hampering its every movement.

Try not to be upset by the howls of pain of child B. Just invite your congregation (yes, the whole congregation) over to your house to pray with you, your family and your neighbors. Pray loudly. Go all out. Come on, give it some oomph. You need to draw the lord's attention. He might be getting slightly hard of hearing by now or maybe he is otherwise engaged and he can't be everywhere at the same time, can he? Wait. Yes, he can. Anyhow, it will also drown out child B's anguished cries.

At the funeral of child B mock child A because its cast is itching.

While in prison for child neglect wonder why child A doesn't come to visit you but prefers playing basketball with its friends instead. How ungrateful. However, god is always with you. Marvel over god's kindness.

Realize how good the lord is. Understand that child B would have died anyway. Whether you broke its arm or not. Whether you took it to a stupid hospital or not. It was his will.

There are several possibilities.

Maybe he has called child B to him because it is so precious to him. In that case it is now sitting at his right hand, watching over you, its loving parent.

Maybe child B was an evil child and didn't deserve to be rescued. In that case it is now in hell and will burn forever and ever and ever. As it deserves. For being evil.

Realize you are an insignificant worm who can't understand the lord's purpose.

Prayer works. It says so in the bible. And everything in the bible is the literal truth. If this weren't the case you couldn't trust anything that is in the bible, could you? That would be just absurd.

Prayer works. Jesus says so. And Jesus wouldn't lie to you, would he? Of course he wouldn't. He loves you.

Pray.

It always works.

Pray.

(Also works great in case of a major oil spill according to Oil Spill Prayer and governor Bob Riley of Alabama. He is no idiot, is he?)

A man full of faith is simply one who has lost (or never had) the capacity for clear and realistic thought. He is not a mere ass; he is actually ill. Worse, he is incurable, for disappointment, being essentially an objective phenomenon, cannot permanently affect his subjective infirmity. His faith takes on the virulence of a chronic infection. What he usually says, in substance, is this: "Let us trust in god, who has always fooled us in the past."

~ H. L. Mencken

Religious people should not be permitted to scare and traumatize our children with their vile, cruel horror stories. The violation of their young, unformed and very impressionable minds with these preposterous and evil inventions is tantamount to child abuse.

Children are by definition innocent and, as the weakest members of our society, should be protected from these deluded liars who want to torment them.

As responsible parents we don't like it when our children watch pornography. We should be even more reluctant to allow that they are traumatized into believing the horrible lies of irresponsible, stupid people, telling them that a brutal, narcissistic sadist will burn them forever and ever and ever for imaginary transgressions against this imaginary monster.

No wonder there are so many mentally unstable, unadjusted personalities. Their minds were deformed by malicious falsehoods and as a result their look on life is totally screwed and their values immoral.

By law a person should be at least eighteen before someone can try to pervert him with these atrocious fables.

I wonder how many, well educated, young adults would believe this preposterous nonsense if the first they heard about it was when they were at a suitable age.

Like everybody else I was born an atheist.

I was a happy kid until some stupid, heartless people told me all kinds of gruesome stories.

They were barbaric lies of course, but I was a kid and couldn't see that.

The pitiless bullies who told me those lies were much bigger than I was at six. They could easily have hurt me. Or taken my food away. They told me I would suffer horribly if I didn't believe them. Forever. They said I was only a kid and they were wise adults. They told me I was dirty. My mind was dirty and my body was dirty. I should distrust and despise both. They also told me that I was born very bad and that I deserved to suffer atrociously for ever and ever and ever. I deserved to be thrown in an open fire and get horribly burned and be in constant, unimaginable pain. That was how bad I was. Until they told me this I hadn't realized that.

It was traumatizing. So for a few years I was very scared. I had nightmares. I almost believed I really wasn't worth anything. I almost believed I was bad, just because I existed.

Looking back on it I can only describe it as child abuse. I was mind raped by unscrupulous liars.

Then I became ten.

Religious beliefs deserve no respect.

Giving respect to that blatant rubbish would only give religious people the false impression there is something worthwhile about their vile, cruel creed. There isn't. Religion has brought humanity nothing else but discord, war, murder, torture, both physical and mental, unhappiness and poverty.

Religion is still killing and harming people today.

It is irresponsible to not make that clear to religious people.

However, we should respect religious people as people, not the nonsense they are spreading.

They are just sick. They suffer from a neurosis. Maybe they can be cured.

Religious beliefs deserve no respect.

Religious beliefs don't deserve respect since they're evil and ridiculous.

Believing in invisible pink unicorns who protect us is just ridiculous.

Believing all Jews should be killed, the sacred conviction of Nazis, is evil.

Believing our lives are governed by an invisible psychopath who will torture the vast majority of us for eternity, the sacred conviction of e.g. christians and islamics, is both evil and ridiculous.

So is trying to scare people with that horrible nonsense.

Terrorizing innocent, impressionable children, who have done nothing wrong to religious people, with those cruel inventions is beyond evil.